mind expanding nonsense

Virtual Love Fest

There’s a virtual Love Fest going on in the Blog-o-sphere, and it consists of passing along awards to bloggers one feels are deserving of recognition. “The Versatile Blogger” is one I see on a regular basis; there’s others too but I can’t remember (and am too lazy to Google it).

Like so many Awards, not to mention endless Awards shows on TV, The more an award is given, the more meaningless it becomes. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for recognition of great blogs, and search for new ones all the time. Plus, this Awards thing, is a great way to increase traffic not only to your site, but to share the wealth. [ Don’t want to mention that phrase on ultra conservative blogs, they’ll throw a tea bag at ya].  Everyone benefits, and it creates a sense of community.

There’s even rules (in Blogostan??) that come with these awards: You gotta thank the person who gave it to you (called common courtesy); mention seven things about yourself; pass the award along to fifteen bloggers you’ve discovered; and notify them. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me. Or one of those chain-letter e-mails which you’ve just got to send along or the magic won’t work. And if the magic fails to work, it’s all because of you for not sending this along (to piss off others), so there!

My little eight year old grandson gets awards weekly in second grade. Not because he’s so damn smart (which he is), but because everyone gets awards. Don’t want anybody left out, let alone hurt feelings, or worse yet, a shattered self-esteem. It’s when he brings home the “Most Improved Attitude” or “I Didn’t Call Teacher a Bitch Today” award that I start wondering.  But no, that would never do in this age of entitlement where everyone is special. Because everyone is special in their own way. [I’m warm with fuzzies, or is it,  warm and feeling fuzzy?]

So, in the spirit of “nothing is sacred”, I thought I’d start my own award.  And the best part is: 1) there are no rules, and 2) you don’t even have to be deserving of it.  In fact, you don’t even have do a damn thing, let alone pass it on to others.  Nope, it’s all yours. That’s because You Are Special. That’s right, I frankly can’t think of anyone more special than You…except for Me.

Here’s all ya have to do. Just print out any of the drawings of awards on this post. Cut them nicely (being sure not to sever your fingers; there’s no I’m The Best Amputee Award), and pin it to your chest with a safety pin (not included). You can even Photoshop em to make them bigger to suit your ego size. Then you can sit back and bask in the glory of your blogging success. I even made them in color, so they’re Extra Special.

You’re worthy. And no doubt a good blogger.. Go on… do it. I’m wearing mine, and I have so many on, that I look like a German Field Marshal; it’s the only ones I’ll ever get, especially after this post. BTW (not to be confused with BMW [bowel movement whooper (still sounds like a really fast German car)], the wife just gave me an award: the “Filthy Old Pervert Who’s Embarrassing Her In Front of The Whole World” award. It was a verbal award, hard to pass along, yet filled with passion. I’ll keep her FOPWEHIFTWW award in a place of honor.

Lastly, I’ve included a special Potty Mouth award, to be given to the blogger who drops the most F-bombs in a single F***ing post. Something to shoot for.

Comments on: "Virtual Love Fest" (17)

  1. I can’t do with all these award shows that seem to happen every week on TV. A load of arseholes in a self congratulatory mood fawning over one another.

    Even more pathetic is is the awards circus in the UK, a bunch of arse lickers sucking up to royalty (who are another hate of mine) and thinking they are something special.

    The actor Albert Finney told them where to stick their awards when they offered him a knighthood, good for him, I would have done the same.

    Bill
    A-U-L, UK

    • Amen Bill….can I take it that not everybody in the UK had wedding fever? I have to admit that I was up at 5:00 am California time and saw the Royal kiss from the palace balcony. My first thought was “what no tongue?” But what I really enjoyed was the RAF fly over, especially the WW II airplanes. And, begging your forgiveness in advance, I thought ‘Wow what if those were a German bomber with two Stukas making a pass for old times sake. [I know hat’s probably not to0 funny or there, sorta like Arabs flying 747’s over New York] 🙂

      • It was reckoned on a survey that 80% didn’t give a f… about the wedding Hansi, I was one of them.

        I obviously missed the flyover but a messerschmitt or two would have caused a few twitchy arses.

        Bill
        A-U-L, UK

  2. Now I know where I’ve been going wrong — I don’t give out any pictures with my Limerick of the Week Awards. 🙂

    Which reminds me, thanks as always for participating in my Limerick-Offs!

    • Madeleine…You need to get with the program 🙂 Limericks-Offs is the high lite of my week. Must confess that sometimes the prompt sits on a piece of paper for a while before the old gray matter finally kicks in with something.

  3. Your sister Heidi said:

    In the Faculty Room at the school I used to teach at we had a sign on the table which said: “Praise yourself or someone else today. One of you surely deserves it!” We followed this advice and it truly helped us get through the day. Try it. It works!

  4. Thanks for the info my friend.It’s really truly everybody deserves some award.Anyone who can spare some precious time to post anything on here deserves some recommendations and acknowledgments.I will work that.Great post and keep it coming.Meanwhile plz do pass by my blogs page read,follow and comment to aid me improve my works too.
    Thank you.Lovely day.
    EBENEZER.

  5. Ah shucks Dad. You can have the “Best Filthy Old Pervert Embarassing Father” award too 🙂

  6. Hansi,
    I hope you will post a picture with all your awards. Drawings are fine as far as they go but a picture is worth a thousand words.

    • Ralph…I don’t do actual pictures of myself; my gravatar is about as far as I want to go. But close your eyes, relax, and visualize awards, field marshals, happiness.

  7. It’s “Blogistan” I’ll have you know.

    Because I’m the undisputed EOB. (That’s Evil Overlord of Blogistan.)

    Read more about Blogistan.

    Just setting the record straight here.

  8. Hello! This made me smile, I’ve had a few of these recently and my thought was “I don’t think so, you want me to pass on this award to someone else then? It’s conditional so therefore I shan’t take it thank you very much all the same!”
    According to these, texts, emails, chain letters, etc, I have now probably accumulated a lifetimes worth of bad luck!

    • No…Don’t pass it on. It was a joke/parody on all the blogger awards going around. But do feel free to print then, carefully cut them out, and past them to your computer screen. 🙂

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