No….I haven’t taken too much medication, and this is not the bummer of all bummers. It’s pretty damn scary though. I went back to work. “YOU DID WHAT??” yes I went back to the House of Pain, for a real dose of self medication. I’ve been fully retired for two years now, haven’t earned a dime, and been luvin it. So. Whats with WORK?
I know, it’s a four lettered work, and I try to avoid outright obscenities here at my Hallucinations [but have no qualms about planting little, ittie-bittie tiny seeds of filth in your already dirty mind]. But damn, I couldn’t resist this one; plus, having a glutinous appetite for punishment, I just couldn’t say no to the money I can make cranking out mindless bullshit in Probationland. Hey it’s kinda like the same thing I do with this blog, except now I’m finally making money with nonsense, but just not on the Internet, or in my home.
Not doing this, would be like Not stealing candy from babies. The dough is ripe for the pickin’, and I be a pickin’. Well by now you can tell that I’ve obviously totally sold out, and made a pact with the devil. But I didn’t sell out, I’m just renting myself to the highest bidder. Guess I’m just a Corrections Ho.
“But Hansi” you might be thinking, “how exciting, kicking down doors, hooking-up bad guys, carting them off to jail. What fun”. NOT! I’ve been called out of retirement to sit on a 3000 plus uncovered caseload of first time drunk drivers. Although these folks have been placed on formal, supervised probation for three years. I ain’t counseling them. I ain’t doing home calls. I ain’t out there taking their car keys away. Nope, I’m sitting at a computer all day, making sure they’re going to Alcohol School, and most importantly, paying their fines. For Corrections had become a big revenue generator for local governments here in Californication. See, if you get popped for a DUI, you gonna end up paying close to $4500 in fines and fees for the privilege. That’s about a hundred times more expensive than a cab fare from the bar to your home.
Oh well, I’m running out of time and have to rush off to the salt mine…or should I say gold mine