mind expanding nonsense

Yep my 33 year old daughter is a private Eye…. A genuine Licensed Private Investigator in the State of California. My gawd am I proud of her, because when I was a kid , I grew up watching every Private Eye show there was.   From 77 Sunset Strip and Hawaiian Eye, to Magnum P I, Mannix and more. One of my favorite songs back then was (I wanna be a) Private Eye by the Olympics. The Eyes had it, cause if we weren’t watchin’ P I shows, then it had to be Westerns. And guess what? The Olympics even did a song about Western Movies. Nothing like staying with the latest rend while doin’ the “Hully Gully”. Turn your speakers on and listen while ya read the rest of this post.

Anyway, My little girl used to fight crime like her Daddy. But she found out that there was more money in Fighting FOR Crime, and bailed out of the probation racket. Now she’s working for private attorneys, helping them defend people who have been wrongly accused and in need of some justice. Apparently some of these folks can afford a lot of justice, cause she don’t work cheap.

Here’s a good one. How did she become interested in a probation career? Because Daddy took her to work one day on “Bring Your Daughter To Work Day”. Shouldn’t of ever done it. Part of my job at the time, was interviewing jail inmates who were to be sentenced in the afternoon. So one morning, I took daughter down to the holding cells in the basement of the Courts building, to show her what Daddy does all day. We get down there, through a long sterile hallway where manacled inmates in orange jumpsuits where shuffling around, turn the corner to the interview rooms (2” thick, small glass rooms which one conversed through a small screened opening).

Hello!! Locked inside one of them, and being segregated from the rest of the population was a five and a half foot tall wiry man in belly chains (hands cuffed to a chain around his waist that connects to the manacles on his feet), who commenced to go off on my daughter. This guy was literally foaming at the mouth and calling my sweet, innocent 13 year old a “fucking whore” while spitting at her and calling her every foul word you hoped she’d never hear. This guy was psychotic, and mad as hell (the angry type). Needless to say, that was a short interview and we got the hell outta there. I later asked her, “Well Pumpkin, what did you think of Daddies work?”

Working for the other side” was kinda difficult for her at first, because when you’re in law enforcement you tend to get a warped view of people, thinking that they are all “Dirt-bags” or Crooks; Or just Dirt-bags and Crooks in waiting; waiting till you can catch them doing something wrong. Now they are “Clients”, who pay well.

Ironically, she got her start “sleuthing” from a cop, who got his hand caught in the evidence locker, due to a little cocaine habit he picked up. Here’s the kicker. Guess who did the probation report on the former narcotics officer turned defendant.? Hansi did. I shit you not. Back in 1984 I did a report on this guy, recommended probation, he cleaned up, became a private investigator, met my daughter through a colleague of hers, and hired her for some jobs. The rest is history.

I got to go out with her when she was serving subpoenas for a big double murder trial she was working on. She doesn’t do the “catch em cheating” type of P I work; only works for attorneys. That was fun, $50 bucks an hour, plus mileage, to drive around LA, looking for people who have long since vanished. Who says crime doesn’t pay. My little girl thinks crime pays exceptionally well, especially when you’re facing a trial for it.

Think I’ll listen to Western Movies by The Olympics. And dream up a blog post about all the great TV Westerns of the 50’s, like Maverick, Paladin, and Bonanza.

Sorry, you got to click on the U Tube link to hear this classic.


Comments on: "My Little Girl Is A Private Eye" (13)

  1. Great story about your daughter and her introduction to the low lives of this world Hansi. It’s a wonder that incident didn’t put her off for ever!

    The guitar introduction on Private Eye reminded me of Shazam by Duane Eddy – remember him?

    I used to watch Bonanza and Maverick but I can’t remember Paladin on TV over here. We did get Rawhide with a young Clint Eastwood in it before he became a star in movies.

    Ashton-under-Lyne, UK

    • Bill…Glad ya liked it. Duane Eddy was my first guitar hero, followed by Link Wray and later Dick Dale (surf music). Loved all that stuff; still do.

  2. Your sister Heidi said:

    Hansi, we are all proud of “our” little girl, but you forgot to mention the fact that she is not only intelligent and professional, but also absolutely beautiful with long natural blond hair. A real eye catcher!!!

    By the way, thanks for the music–haven’t heard those in half a decade! Please do a blog on the westerns of our youth–they were all soooo clean and innocent.

    • Heidi….You’re right about the daughter; must have gotten those good looks from our side of the family. Hey, you haven’t heard those tunes in half a Century!! Both were from the late 50’s. Remember how all that black “rhythm music” used to drive Emmy and John out of their ever-lovin’ Deutsch Minds??

  3. On the western theme I’ve just watched ‘True Grit’. It had excellent reviews, and I like the Coen brothers films, but I was bored with it, I even fell asleep in the cinema. I couldn’t understand a word Jeff Bridges mumbled.

    You only told half the story here Hans, I want to know what your 13 year old daughter thought about your work, after visiting the psycho in the cells.

    Did you forget Ironside for your nostalgic PI’s?

    Leamington Spa, England

    • John, the daughter was horrified, but went on to have a career in corrections herself, until she wised up. Ironside was great, but probably not mentioned in The Olympic’s song as it was a 60’s show. All that P.I. stuff was great, but nothing at all what real life Investigators do.

    • John,
      Havn’t seen True Grit 2. True Grit 1 was enough for me. You make me chuckle though about not understand Jeff Bridges. This sort of makes up for the accents in British films which are equally incomprehensible to me even when the diction is great.

  4. Hansi,
    I guess your daughter missed the art gene that you passed to Bad Deacon. Your grandson better watch his step.

  5. Well Pumpkin, what did you think of Daddies work?” i think your daughter should have reported “you” to the authorities 😉 another great piece – how do you do it ?

    • Alan….being properly medicated has been a big part of my blogging success. Also, real life stuff, like the story of Bring Your Daughter To Work plays a big part too.

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