mind expanding nonsense

Love It, Or Leave It

America… Love It or leave it

You gotta love America, and next to Germany it’s the strangest place on Earth, so I’m not gonna leave it (unless I take another trip to Germany). That was a popular phrase during the 60’s, when everything went to hell as the Vietnam war got underway. Good thing we learned our lesson about getting involved in un-winnable wars in distant lands.

We just got done celebrating Martin Luther King’s Birthday. America’s great Civil Rights Hero. We loved him so much he was assassinated. We also loved JFK (and his Brother Bobbie) to death also. Too bad there isn’t a John Lennon day here in the States. Just think, a three day weekend of “Love,love love” and giving peace a chance. Won’t happen; he was a Brit, but we still loved him to death. O K. Enough of the political rant. I don’t want anyone to think of me as being way out there in left wing la la land. When it comes to La La land, I want to be smack dab in the middle.

This whole thing is really about bumper stickers and how they attempt to sum-up complex political views into a nifty phrase, clearly visible from 50 feet away. America…Love It Or leave It was a big one in the 60’s, and implied that if you didn’t like how things were run, you better hit the bricks. A lot of my buddies back then were loving America so much, that they were leaving it for Vietnam. I preferred the sticker: “Draft Beer, Not Students”.

There were religious bumper stickers too. You gotta remember the one that said: “The Answer Is” then some garbled letters. You had to underline the script to find out that JESUS was the correct answer. I had great stoner fantasies about that one, pretending the Answer was: “Legalize Pot”, or “Everybody Get Naked and Screw”. My favorite religious one was the “I Found It” sticker.. Found WHAT? You guessed it; correct answer, Jesus. [Some would argue that the correct answer is always Jesus.] The Jews had a great come-back sticker: “We Never Lost It”. Mine would have been “I Had It Crammed Down My Throat Since Birth, And Am Now Breathing A Lot More Easier Since The Blockage Was Removed”.

So everybody’s driving around in America loving to share their views on everything , via car bumper-sticker. Some real inane stuff like “I (heart shape) My Dog”, or “Save The Whales”. Wow. Who could take issue with that. Even the Japanese want to save the whales…but just for desert. The best antidote for all the (heart-shaped) things drivers loved , was provided by the National Lampoon. For a modest fee, you could buy a roll of round adhesive stickers with a picture of a machine screw on it. The idea was, when you’ve just seen too much of what people (heart-shaped), you could peel one off and stick it over the heart shape. Sure changed the message folks wanted made public about themselves.

Anyway, this has gone on too far. What was your favorite bumper sticker?


Comments on: "Love It, Or Leave It" (13)

  1. There’s an un-winnable war going on in Afghanistan Hansi, which the two B’s got both our countries into. Russia realised their error and got out double quick, a pity we don’t follow suit and save all those young lives.

    I Like the drawing ‘Lick Bush in 2004’ I’ve been licking it for a lot longer than that!

    ‘Draft Beer, Not Students’ – brilliant!

    My favourite sticker was ‘Jesus Saves – But Best Scores Rebounds’ (George Best, UK and US soccer player)

    Ashton-under-Lyne, UK

    • The Lick Bush and Draft Beer were actual for real, I shit you not, bumper stickers. The US didn’t learn squat from Vietnam, and as you point out, and is in another quagmire. Egypt is getting a little crazy. I always liked Blair, but never Bush, unless in its un-capitalized form; also know as the ‘bearded clam’ over here. Blair always reminded my of Eric Idle of Monty Python fame.

      • Blair was a self promoting arsehole and although in the UK we only saw Bush on news items he seemed like the WC Fields of politics to me – funny but incompetent.

        The bearded clam – I’ve not heard that one before Hansi.

        Ashton-under-Lyne, UK

      • Amen on Bush. Next time you’re eating out, you may want to place an order of bearded clam. I think you may enjoy it, and make it a regular part of your diet.

  2. Hansi,
    Me, I like the Obama bumper stickers. They are like an early warning system. Crazies ahead. It’s important on the overcrowded California freeways to stay away from crazy people. Those are like the scull and crossbones on medicine labels= a warning to beware.

  3. maybe there should be:
    pay goldman sachs direct, forget the middle man.
    america is broken big time
    america – don’t leave we can’t afford it

  4. Your sister Heidi said:

    I have three favorite bumper stickers: 1) “Little old ladies need love too” which I had on my car for a long time!
    2) Seen on the back of a huge RV “We’re spending our kids inheritance”.
    In Germany many young parents have stickers on their cars with “Baby on board” or “Chantal on board” or “Leon on board” or whatever the kids name is. Well, I saw a sports car driven by a young man with the sticker “No brat on board with a crappy name”.
    By the way, could you send me some of those screw stickers? I would then have more than enough to do pasting them over oh so many cars!

    • “Baby On Board” was one of my favorites too. And some of the most presumptuos bullshit I’ve ever read while driving. Its message of “be extra careful, we a have a child in the car” assumes that I’m a reckless nit who has no concern for my one well-being, but will suddenly assume a responsible lifestyle because of your bratty kid. It’s not gonna stop some drunk from rear ending ya ( as in automobile accident, not a brief hook-up in a sleazy bar), cause the drunk will only see Bubua on Board, and think you have some beer.

  5. I like “My incorrigible brat can whip your honor roll student’s ass”.

  6. So? I’ve got one.

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