mind expanding nonsense

Super Powers

Did you ever wish you had super powers like your favorite comic book hero?
I sure did! When I was little, I wished I could fly like Superman. That would have been soooo cool. That evolved into X-Ray vision when I was an adolescent. Guess that’s a universal wish for that age-group (seeing through women’s clothes). Anyway, they already have that now in the airports, and while causing quite a stir, is really disgusting in the majority of cases.

All the good powers have been taken. Just about everybody flies like Superman (Spider man has web-assist), or is super strong. There’s not much left that hasn’t already been taken. And to tell the truth, as I get older, going faster than a speeding bullet is way too fast for me; laying on the couch is as fast as I wanna go. More powerful than a locomotive? Wish my bladder was and prostrate not. I would like to leap a stair in a single bound….tall buildings better have elevators.

More than that, I can’t think of any superpowers I really need. I wish however, that I had an invisible shield to deflect bull-shit. And Jedi mind control to set those guys in Washington straight.

How about you? Any super power ya wish you had?


Comments on: "Super Powers" (14)

  1. I’m pretty sure that the super power I would like is the ability to know what the winning lottery numbers are gonna be.

    • Never thought of that one. But I did wish I knew where the Stock Market would end-up for the year, and place a bet (invest) via an S&P 500 ETF. A dollar on the lotto requires a lot less capital.

      • Honestly, I would be fine with the ability to see the future of any financial vehicle. As long as guaranteed (and rather high) returns are involved, I will be pleased.

  2. The superpower I’d like is to be able to travel instantaneously from one place to another bypassing customs, immigration and those annoying TSA’s. Besides eliminating the wasted time, I would also eliminate the torture and humiliation from the airlines.

  3. Imagine how it would change LA commutes!

  4. Ralph…that would get me around my annoying little issue with the TSA.

  5. Your sister Heidi said:

    You guys are all too egoistic! Think global. I’d like the power to give the power or take it away–as in the case of most of the ruling leaders on this planet!

    And as you know: Behind every powerful man there is a powerful woman and behind every fallen man there is a more powerful woman!

  6. geezerpussrex said:

    NPR’s This American Life once did a piece on choosing between flying, ala Superman, or being invisible, ala Pigmentless and his ward Opaque Boy. The conclusion was that those seeking flight were noble whereas those seeking invisibility were voyeuristic creeps. Be that as it may, I vote for having a mundane power, just better than anyone else.

    In Bob Burden’s Mystery Man, a great comic and basis for an underappreciated movie, there is a character known as the Shoveler. He carries a big coal shovel and has a trowel tucked under his belt. He declares, “I am the Shoveler because I shovel better than anyone.” He gets the snaut beat out of him yet carries on. I think I’d take a different approach and become Condimento… imagine squirting habanero chile juice, wasabe powder, and Coleman’s English Mustard onto the mucous membrances of evildoers. That’s gotta hurt!

    • That’s pretty demento, Mr Condimento. But having stepped on many a catchup packet littered on the street, I can see your point. What I think would be even cooler, is if you could squirt that stuff out your wee wee. That would give an even stronger meaning to the term “Piss Off”. It would probably burn like hell though.

  7. Hansi, I have never been to America, but always liked the positive mindset I soaked up through Marvel Comics.

    Being a comic nerd, “which superhero to be” has kept me awake at nights. I definitely want to fly, so although I’m a Marvel fan it has to be Superman. (Spiderman has better girlfriends though).

    Not wishing to be disloyal to Stan Lee, I also want to nominate the Silver Surfer, and Captain Marvel (although he died of cancer in a graphic novel). 😮 I know all these superheros are real, but that’s a bit TOO realistic.

    I have a pair of X-Ray glasses, my mate gave me them for Christmas last year….They don’t work. 😦

    Leamington Spa, England

  8. John. Are those your X-Ray glasses in the gravatar? If so maybe they don’t work cause you have them on backwards.

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