mind expanding nonsense

Things I don’t understand

Thongs
I can’t understand why thongs are such the rage these days. I know they’re sexy and all that, but to me wearing a thong is little more than dental floss for your A-hole. I mean if you really want to show off your butt without pantie lines, why don’t you just kinda hang loose as we men would say.

Men wear drawers, be they hangers or jockeys, for one reason and one reason only, and that is to avoid embarrassing yellow stains on the front of one’s pants and brown streaks in the rear back. Be it due to inadequate or hurried lily dew removal, or a hasty number two clean up, underwear serve more of an absorbent rather than supportive function for me.

I personally am a boxer short of guy. But I look forward to the day when I will have come full circle, leave the middle-man behind, and move on to adult diapers. “Hansi, how can you say that?” Well it works for my 2½ year old grandson. That little guy isn’t having to get up during his two hour nap to pee; nor stop from one moment of having fun to take care of business as his older brother does. The sweet innocence of youth. The Little Liar even denies it when it’s obvious to one and all that he’s carrying a load down there.

How about you? Do you have any fetishes stories about underwear that you’ve been waiting to share? Maybe something featuring dingle-berries??

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Comments on: "Things I don’t understand" (8)

  1. This super sexy Unterhose is my personal nightmare. I had to wear it during my time in the army. Those pants are are so tight around your ankles and your waist that they barely let your blood circulate. So, you’ll have a nice micro climate in your pants which seems very appealing to small animals and insects. And after 2 weeks in the field you can find more stuff in your pants then just some dingleberries. Dead stuff, cause there is no way out of the deathtrap Unterhose. Why I did not change my unterware? Because in the Deutsche Bundeswehr you only get one!

  2. Your sister Heidi said:

    Hansi, you do not want to close that circle and get into adult diapers! Contrary to your grandson, no one is going to tickle your tummy telling you how cute you are during the changing and then disposing of all contents while you lay there doing leg gymnastics or playing with your dong. You have to do it all by yourself while your wife is complaining about the mess you are making!!
    Here is one of my favorite men jokes:
    Three old men are complaining about the trials of getting older. The first one says: “Every time I have to pee it feels like I’m peeing razor blades.” The second one says: I’m either so constipated that I can’t crap or it all just falls out of me.” The third man says: “Every morning at 7 o’clock I can pee like a race horse and crap like an elephant.” “So, what’s the problem?” the others asked. “Well, I usually don’t wake up until 8!”

  3. I say that as long as you are looking forward to something your will never grow old.

  4. Fantastic Hansi, I’ve never had kids but the “little liar” made me laugh out loud. No, I really did, that’s not just one of those lol expressions.

    John
    Trying to connect from Leamington Spa, England

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