mind expanding nonsense

Visions of sugar-plums are filling my head. And this year I think I got it bad. Of course, I was much more afflicted as a youth, when little Hansi would secretly peal away loose ends of wrapped gifts to see what might lay therein. Christmas is the strangest time of the whole year. It happens around the time of the winter solstice; the time when the sun hits its lowest point, rests there for three days and then starts it’s wintry return from the grave. Hey! That sounds like someone I know…. but I can’t think of His name. Now the sun really doesn’t move lower, this whole thing has to do more with rotation and axis of the earth in her orbit around the sun. But seeing that I am the center of my universe, I prefer that the sun rotate around me and not visa-versa.

Anyway this whole solstice thing has morphed into something totally different. Gone are the days when a bunch of ignorant savages would light logs on fire and cut down fur trees and decorate them with lights and fertility symbols, with the hopes that this would appease the Sun-god, and hasten his return by tempting him with all these bright shinny objects. Well he fell for it every time (we guys still fall for the trashy look), cause sure as clock-work, he came back year after year. Why mess with success.

Now it’s Santa Claus, and where did he come from? Aside from living at the North Pole, I don’t see any way he could effect the sun to return. Actually Santa started as Saint Nicolas, a guy in Germany who gave away stuff to people, but also kept tabs on em too . The American Santa doesn’t care so much about your behavior, except when it comes to spending money. You may want a White Christmas, but Santa wants a Black Friday even more. So Santa is filling us all with visions of sugar-plums, tempting us with bright shinny objects, hoping we’ll return to his outlet stores. Boy, things sure got switched around. And just as we used to trick the sun into returning, sure as shit, Santa keeps tricking us year after year.

May your Holidays be filled with visions of sugar-plums, and a hallucination or two.


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